Lifestyle boudoir isn't about being sexy (and that's why it works)

Caroline Nijs
Jun 24
3 min read

When I say I’m a lifestyle boudoir photographer, people usually picture satin sheets, smoky eyes, and seduction. If that’s your expectation—sorry, but I'm going to disappoint you.

And honestly? I'm good with that.

Here's what: boudoir photography traditionally comes with clichés about sexiness, sensuality, and staged glamour. It often feels staged, a bit contrived, and sometimes even cringey. If you're nodding along, then we're already on the same page.

My kind of boudoir skips all that.

It's not really about how you look.

Seriously.

Don’t stress over all that stuff about sexy poses, heavy retouching, or fancy lingerie you’d never actually wear in real life. We are not creating a fantasy for someone else. My sessions are about capturing you as you genuinely are right now. And yes, that means exactly as your body is today. You don’t need to apologize for it, there are no expectations, and certainly no bullshittery.

Does it sound uncomfortable? Good. Most important things in life are. But uncomfortable doesn't have to mean impossible. My job isn’t just to take pictures; I create a space where you can feel safe enough to just be. Sure, you’ll feel a bit awkward in the beginning. But we’ll find your vibe. And then you’ll laugh and feel surprisingly at ease—even if you thought you wouldn’t. It’s all part of it. None of it is staged. That’s kind of the whole idea.

Why choose me?

I could tell you about my photography skills or how many sessions I’ve done, but the technical aspect isn’t my most important skill. It's my ability to make people feel at ease. Maybe it’s because I’m autistic, I tend to pick up on things a lot of people miss. That helps me know when someone’s actually comfortable, or just pretending to be. Or maybe it's because I'm unapologetically myself—tattoos, mohawk, piercings, and all—making it easier for you to just be yourself too.

When you book a session with me, you’re not just getting photographs; you’re getting an experience shaped by honesty, transparency, and genuine understanding. I've shaped my work around rejecting societal bullshit and prioritizing what's real. If you want to do some of the sexy poses, great! But you can trust me to never push you toward an artificial standard.

Black-and-white photo in a dark frame shows a woman with closed eyes, wearing pearls, conveying a calm mood against a plain background.

What to expect (no satin robes, sorry)

A session with me feels like hanging out with a friend who just happens to have a camera. We'll talk—about your day, random life stuff, or even how weird it feels standing in front of a camera. You’re not here to play a role. If it feels fake, we skip it.

I don’t promise transformative experiences or life-changing revelations, because honestly, those claims usually feel fake. But here's what will happen: you'll see yourself clearly, maybe for the first time in a while. The camera has a weird way of cutting through our own distorted self-perceptions, showing us something surprisingly simple: ourselves, as we really are. And spoiler alert: "as you really are" is pretty damn good.

Why vulnerability truly matters in lifestyle boudoir

My lifestyle boudoir photography isn’t about forcing confidence, because true confidence doesn't show up overnight. It sneaks in gradually, in small, subtle ways. Especially when we allow ourselves to be seen without the filter of expectation.

Chances are, you’ll be surprised. Not because you look like a magazine cover, but because you finally recognize the person in the photographs as someone worthy of acceptance, just as you are. No conditions attached.

Black and white photo of a woman in lace lingerie, posed leaning against the wall with a relaxed expression. Displayed within a black and white bordered frame.

Who should consider this?

If you’re done chasing unrealistic ideals, tired of feeling like you blend in with the background, or simply curious about what it might feel like to genuinely embrace yourself, then this is probably your thing.

You don’t need to feel "sexy" or "empowered" before you step in front of my camera. You just need to show up. I’ll handle making sure you feel comfortable and together we’ll capture something real.