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Why is there still so much shame around lifestyle boudoir photography?

It’s not about the photos. Not really.

It’s about what people think it means to want them.


Somehow, wanting to see yourself in a certain way—soft, strong, sensual, powerful—is seen as too much. Too vain. Too self-indulgent. Too aware of your own existence.


And because somewhere along the way, lifestyle boudoir photography became confused with erotic photography. The idea took hold that these images can only exist to be gifted, to serve a purpose outside of yourself. That unless they’re for a partner, they don’t make sense.


So if you’re doing it just for you? That’s where even more judgment kicks in.


The root of the discomfort

Confidence in women—especially when it isn’t packaged in a way that pleases society—is treated as something uncomfortable. Something to keep in check. It’s fine to almost love yourself, as long as you don’t make it obvious. As long as you don’t step outside the version of you that the world is comfortable with.


And that’s exactly why lifestyle boudoir photography makes some people uneasy. Because when it’s not for others, when it’s not about shaping yourself into someone else’s idea of desirable, then it suddenly becomes shameful.


But why? Who decided that?


Challenging the misconceptions about boudoir

Not all boudoir is the same—and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with wanting erotic images or fine art nude photography. There’s a time and place for every kind of self-expression.


But this—my kind of lifestyle boudoir photography—isn’t about putting on a show. It’s not about bending yourself into poses, or holding a position until it hurts, just to create an image that fits a certain mold. Sure, it looks good. But with what purpose? My lifestyle boudoir photography isn’t about trying to conform to an idea of ‘sexy’ that society has created.


Instead, we create a space for authenticity. We capture moments where you can be real, where you don’t have to tone it down, shrink yourself, or pretend to be someone you’re not. You’ll get to see yourself as you are, with all the nuances that make you unique.


How lifestyle boudoir photography can support body acceptance

Lifestyle boudoir photography can be a powerful tool for self-acceptance. We live in a world that constantly tells us how we should look, act, and feel about our bodies. The images we see in media are most often edited, filtered, and presented in a way that sets unattainable standards. It’s no wonder so many of us struggle with how we see ourselves.


But imagine seeing yourself in a photo that isn’t designed to please anyone else. Imagine seeing an image of yourself that isn’t filtered through self-criticism or the expectations of others. That’s where a shift can happen.


We are not talking about a dramatic transformation or becoming someone new. It’s about recognizing the beauty that’s already there—beauty that’s often overlooked because we’re too busy focusing on what we think we should be.


In a lifestyle boudoir session, the focus is on you—your comfort, your feelings, your body as it is. It’s about allowing yourself to be seen, not judged. And when you see that reflected back in an image, without the usual harsh filters of self-criticism, it can be a significant step toward body acceptance, and even self acceptance in general.


Remember, these photos don’t create something new. They reflect the beauty that has always been yours.


And there can never be shame in that.


Redefining what it means to see yourself differently

If you’ve been curious but held back by everything you’ve been taught to think about this—maybe it’s time to reconsider.


We are not here to prove anything to anyone. It’s about you, and how you choose to see yourself. You don’t need permission to celebrate your own body, to appreciate it for what it is, without apology.


So if that’s something you’re ready to explore, we should talk.



A person in lace lingerie and pearls holds a wooden chair's backrest. They're wearing an open shirt. The mood is intimate and monochrome.

Woman in a white tank top gazes at the camera, with a soft expression. Black and white photo with a plain background.

A close-up of an outstretched hand in dim lighting, with a blurred human figure in the background. The image evokes a somber mood.
Woman in lingerie poses against a rugged brick wall, arm raised. The black-and-white image has a moody, dramatic feel.

Close-up of a person's hips with hands gently resting on it. Black and white image highlights skin texture and tattoos. Calm, intimate mood.

Silhouette of a person posing confidently in front of a large window. Black and white image emphasizing contrast and form.

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©Caroline Nijs Photography - Pferdefotografie Schweiz 2022. No right is given to save or download any images or components of this site unless written permission is granted by Caroline Nijs Photography. Licensing for use can be arranged.

© 2024 COPYRIGHT CAROLINE NIJS PHOTOGRAPHY

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